This one is for the nattering nabobs of nadsat. 2004 was a horrorshow year for Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple and Pixar. One time, all the gazettas called him a nadmenny baddiwad malchick, but in 2004, it was a different raskazz. It's all about the pretty polly, my droogies.
Our Steve shvatted more of the stuff than any other CEO in Silly Con Valley in Anno Domino 2004. He was the bolshy bugatty in Forbes gazetta every month. Apple's stock rose like a koshka up a zvonock. Every lewdie's glazz was on Steven Pee Jobs.
Steve was the CEO with the two rabbits, and each of these rabbits was always shvatting lots of pretty polly by prodding techie vellocet for the lewdies to mounch. From the Apple rabbit came carman-sized veshches for razrezzing warbles and dorogoy veshches with knopkas to fist, and from the Pixar rabbit came bolshy animated sinnies.
And didn't all the malenky nadsats tolchock pee and em for the gollies to viddy Pixar's latest raskazz at the sinny? And didn't they fill Steve's carman with the pretty polly? They did and they did.
But oh my droogies, sloosh this: The messel that warms Steve's heart and that is like the great Ludwig Van to his ookos is not the pretty polly in his carman, but the fact that the lewdies of Woodside are finally letting him crack his domy. Steve and his family were all oddy knocky in the fourteen bedrooms and thirteen and a half baths of that starry staja and bezoomny to ookadeet the place.
2004 was also the year that Dan Gillmor may have traded a creech for a chumble by ookadeeting his rabbit at the starry San Jose gazetta to become a Citizen Gazettista. Pursuing his sneety, our Dan was, even if he could snuff it. He might be gloopy, the sarky lewdies at the gazetta platched, but the malchick's got gulliwuts.
But sloosh me horrorshow, my droogies: Dan may not be out of his gulliver after all. The time may be dobby for fillying with blogs and dratsing with the gazettas. Because those malchicks at the bolshy gazettas seem to be only a dook of their former selves, either gloopy or spoogy, without a dobby messel, prodding their baddiwad vellocet for the lewdies and getting all grahzny with the buggaties.
But that's just my nadmenny opinion.
IBM also pulled an ookadeet in 2004, letting the Chinese kupet its entire pee sea rabbit. This snuffed a raskazz that began in 1981, when the starry computer company got too droogy with Bill Gates and let him crast its dorogoys. Of course, that's just how IBM viddies it. Doubtless Bill viddies it differently. You have a choice of nadmennies, as always.
In short, my droogies, it was a bezoomny year. This one looks like another.
Anthony Burgess helpfully provided a dictionary for nadsat, the invented patois in which he wrote his novel A Clockwork Orange. Many copies of that dictionary can be found on the Internet; here are my versions of the definitions of the nadsat terms used in this month's column:
baddiwad: bad
bezoomny: mad
bolshy: big, great
bugatty: rich, rich person
carman: pocket
crack: to break up, tear down
crast: to rob, to steal
creech: to shout, to scream
chumble: to mumble
dobby: good, right
domy: house
dook: trace, ghost
dorogoy: valuable
dratse: fight
droog: friend
filly: to play or fool with
fist: to punch
gazetta: newspaper, magazine
glazz: eye
gloopy: stupid
golly: unit of money
grahzny: dirty
gulliver: head
gulliwuts: guts
horrorshow: good, well
knopka: button
koshka: cat
kupet: buy
lewdies: people
malchick: boy
malenky: little, tiny
messel: thought, fancy
mounch: snack, to snack
nadmenny: arrogant
nadsat: teenage, teenager
oddy knocky: lonesome
ookadeet: to leave
ooko: ear
pee and em: parents
platch: to cry
pretty polly: money
prod: to produce
rabbit: work, job
raskazz: story
razrez: to rip
sarky: sarcastic
shvat: to grab
sinny: cinema
sloosh: to hear, to listen
sneety: dream
snuff: to kill
snuff it: to die
spoogy: terrified
staja: state jail, prison
starry: ancient
tolchock: to hit or push
vellocet: drug
veshch: thing
viddy: to see, to look
vred: to harm, to damage
warble: song
zvonock: bellpull
